Dissonance

 There is no love for a woman like me

No love for a woman that dresses like me

that hides like me

that prays like me

There is no god for a woman like me

A woman that does not pray enough

a woman that doesn’t cover enough

a woman that has a voice

A woman like me-

has been told two things in her life;

one is that I will surely burn in hell.

The second is that whatever I wish to do

is unattainable,

thanks to the love

I have

for the God that would condemn me.

I am not a woman yet though 

says my father in his authoritative voice

And why would i need love

love is comfort God's necessity

Arrangement has always been part of my life

a part I don't control

those who arrange me defile me

I have always been defiled

I do not pray anymore

My god is my love

A women like me is not allowed love

but i am no woman

I am but a girl

So defiled i breathe polluted air

and who would have me 

My mother says

I have no tact or decorum

No respect for a male-

a male that would rip from me 

everything.

Fear has never been in my eyes, 

a girl like me does not believe in fear

but a girl like me is always afraid.

Afraid of the God

of the male

of the father 

of the mother

Those who claim me as their own-

they do condemn me

they do condemn me and i cannot love

A girl like me does not deserve love

A girl who believes but does not pray

A girl like me who dreams 

is a girl lost in her world

my sister offers me advice

stop dreaming

dreaming is unattractive

stop reading

stop hoping

stop living

stop trying to change

you’re “fate”

She tells me again

To make me understand

And who are you

you pathetic mess

you are a servant 

a servant to god 

a servant to the male 

a servant to the father

a servant to the mother

a servant to the sister

A girl like me does not deserve life

But has been allowed to live

out of goodwill

There is no 

good will

that I know of.